You can almost always catch me in the corner, sitting alone even in a room full of people. That corner spot is a guaranteed spot for me especially when I am at an unfamiliar place with people who aren’t close friends and family. I am just sitting isolated. Most times, I’m on my phone either reading something or actively trying to find something to read or do just to avoid interactions. As a shy girl, this is my comfort zone, my safe place. While I have blamed this habit on my introversion and shyness, I realized that there is a far bigger underlying problem- I was/am afraid of being seen. So I’m writing this post to myself and to everyone who’s afraid of being seen.
I consider myself a private, very shy and introverted person and that has manifested itself in many forms. I’ve assumed to be protecting myself by not allowing myself to be seen by a man I am interested in, not believing I was enough for certain relationships and life opportunities, or simply not opening up my life and story to those I’ve met on my path.
Maybe you’re like me. You’ve spent most of your life creating a safe space for yourself. You’ve tried to protect yourself from sharing too much and worried that you might be too much for people to handle. You may be worried that perhaps you’re just not enough. Maybe if they heard it all or saw all of this rawness, they’d seen too much. Whatever is it, I want you to know that YOU CAN BE SEEN, loved, cherished and adored. You don’t have to hide or purposely make yourself look small just to make people comfortable. Your accomplishments do not need to be exaggerated to make you appear good enough for anyone. You are good enough just as you are!
Sincerely, you do yourself a disservice not showing people who you are. People cannot love you authentically if they do not know you. People cannot relate to you, admire you or be inspired by you if you’re hiding who you truly are from them. Here’s what really happens when you don’t allow yourself to be seen:
- You are not yourself- the way you talk and act will differ.
- You allow awkwardness follow you around- because even you yourself may not be comfortable with the version of you that you present
- People are not able to love you fully
- You do not get the feedback and accountability you might need to better yourself
- You hold yourself bondage. I am learning that there’s an incredible sense of power and freedom that comes with just letting go and just being
In the end, your desire to protect yourself by hiding your true self hurts you. In preventing yourself from being seen by others, you deny yourself the pleasure of truly seeing yourself. You deny yourself the benefits of being vulnerable, you deny yourself growth. You insulate yourself inadvertently preventing yourself from expanding your boundaries. Moreso, you deny yourself some of life’s most fulfilling things- the connection, belonging and love shared not just with a lover but with others who genuinely want to see your pure heart.
So it’s time to do it all differently. It’s time to give yourself permission to be seen. Let go of the fear and insecurities you’ve accumulated along the way. Let go of the safety blankets you’ve shielded yourself with. Allow people to see you. Let go of what they’d think if they saw it all, is not your burden to bear. Own your confidence without worry of being perceived as prideful. Tell your story without fear of being judged or criticized. Show them your quirks, giggle as loud as you would if you were alone, make eye contacts no matter how uncomfortable. Don’t water down who you are.
You are not your pain or your past. You are not your struggle. You are worthy. Show up and let yourself be seen, fully and completely.
You are enough.
Here’s to Authenticity and Intentionality.